How To Prevent My Mother In Law From Ruining My Wedding?

by even getting this bus tells you she and other members of said party bus are planning to get smashed. well, that is how i would take it. she can get drunk on their own dime at her own house. people can have one or two drinks at your reception, no one should go overboard ON PURPOSE, which is what they will do when they KNOW they have a ride home. tell your groom he needs to talk to his mother, that she is making this about her and it is not her day. sounds like she is trying relive the party she did not get to attend (which is odd, i much preferred the party my husband and i had after the wedding :P).

Who's wedding is this? Exactly! Talk to your fiancee about her and try and negoitate something..

I know first hand how brides want to control everything. Some of these party buses would put a limo to shame!! I would think you would be relieved family members will be transported safely. It does not take a large quantity of alcohol to get into trouble driving.
Really, it is none of your concern what happens after your wedding and reception. Is it any ones business what is going on between you and your new husband after you leave?
Just because your family is different doesn't make his family wrong! Maybe several family members will be together for the first time in a while and wish to continue their visit and good time. Really, why are you so concerned?
She is not ruining anything and shouldn't be labeled as such. This is a good example of things getting blown out of proportion and daughter-in-law's bad mouthing their mother-in-laws when it is not deserved.

Ignore her. It´s not your fault that she couldn´t keep her hands off her husband.
Do whatever you want and forget about her ideas.
If she is annoying you, tell your fiance to have a talk to her.

It's your day and she should respect your wishes. A bit of diplomacy would go a long way. Explain to her that she cannot recreate her wedding day through yours and if she wants to throw a party at her house after the wedding then fine but you do not want a party bus. Stick to your guns and I hope you can resolve this amicably

Get you husband to be to talk to her firmly! It's his mother let him deal with it, if he doesn't then there are other questions that you need to ask yourself.

I would have your fiance sit her down and explain to her what you all want. Perhaps you could compromise and allow her to have a big after-party at her house and keep the reception more low-key.
I wish I had a better suggestion. Good luck.

Just before the wedding take her into the woods, tell her your going on a picnic and when you are finished you are planting a tree to have your wedding remembered.
The truth tho, your going to bury her alive, well pretend to, tell her your going to unless she gives up ont he party idea, that should scare her enough to know you mean business.

Talk to her parents and get them to help you in forstalling this.Maybe she will listen to them. Make it very clear how unhappy you are. Remind her , through them ,that she is not responsible for how everyone gets to your wedding… they are.
She sounds like a nightmare… I hope you are considering moving a long way away from her.

tell her that if she wants topay for the party bus transportation thats fine by you but you want to make it clear that anyone is out of control and over intoxicated will be asked to leave. so if she wishes to do the bus than she must be the responsible leader. let ur fiance handle this since its his mother.

both u and your fiance need to tell her its ur wedding and it will be done ur way. Stick to ur guns and good luck

If she's planning to pay for the party bus, there's probably not much you can do to convince her not to have it. bummer. I agree with the poster who said that the party bus implies that the people on it intend to get smashed. You obviously do not want a bunch of obnoxious drunk people at your reception - especially if you want an 'elegant' event - so your best bet is to control the amount of alcohol served at the reception. If they get ticked off, so what?! If they get ticked off because you don't want a bunch of sloppy drunks at your wedding, they have issues. You could supply wine with dinner, and perhaps champagne for a toast, but do NOT have an open bar for these people. You don't want to have to worry about someone else ruining your day.
Not too long ago, I was at a wedding in which the groom's aunt got absolutely sloshed and embarassed the rest of the family so badly that they escorted her to a taxi and sent her home. It's just not amusing or cute when 50 or 60-something year olds drink and party like college freshmen.
seriously - limit the drinks at the reception, and your MIL won't have the opportunity to get drunk and embarass you. i'm sure you can convince your guy to go along with the plan.
Good luck!

If she's NOT paying for the entire wedding then she has no say whatsoever.

you have to be cruel to be kind hun, its your wedding yours and your hubby's special day tell her to stop its up to you what you do with this special occasion sure let her help a little but not to much, or it will be a 3 way wedding nobody wants that, its your wedding hun put ya foot,
ps congrats hun hope every thing goes smooth

It shouldn't matter how your guests arrive but I would make sure that they were on YOUR guest list for the reception. after the reception who cares what she does.Your family may or may not go on to her house but I wouldn't worry about it. Just have a good time. I'm sure his family and your family can handle it, give them a little credit here. Have fun and yes there will be drinking. Not all receptions get wild because of the drinking. It has more to do with how they handle themselves after a couple of drinks. So they want to go to her place after wards. ok the more tame ones can stay and hang out or see you two off on your way to the honeymoon.
Don't stress out, you'll see that things will go ok and you worried for nothing.. congrats on the marriage!

I don't see anyway for you or your fiance to stop her from renting a party bus. I don't see why you would even care if she has an after party at her own house. It's her house, she can do what she likes there. The only thing you can do is have your fiance talk to her and ask her not to do it. Like I said if she chooses to do so, there's not much you can do about it.

My advice is to ignore her, let her have her party bus or whatever, then don't go to the after party so you're not there to see her make an *** of herself. Who will even know, it'll be parked in the parking lot?

Preventing drunk driving is a great idea.
If you rather have DUI's and injured guests at your party, go ahead.

What's the difference if she hires a bus for those she chooses to invite aboard? I think you need to stop focusing on what she's doing–her hiring a bus in no way would RUIN your wedding unless you choose for it to do that. If she has people back to her house after your reception is over for an after-party, how does that effect you in any way whatsoever?

I've been to many elegant weddings such as you are planning and everyone loved it and had a great time, I have also found that people are often enjoying themself so much they want to carry on the party after the reception has finished and sometimes have gone on to party elsewhere, by party I don't mean a huge drunken brawl, but simply to carry on the happy atmosphere from the reception. Have your fiance talk to your mother in law and say that this is not how you envisaged your day being, but honestly once the recption is officially over you can't really dictate whether your guests go on and party elsewhere, you cannot say to them "Right that's it, you all have to go home now", because if they want to go on and party afterwards they will, your family do not have to get on the bus and go to the party if they don't wish to, I'm sure a lot of people will be too tired to do that anyway, weddings are a long day after all. But if some people do want to party then let them, I'd suggest that you and your new husband retire to your honeymoon suite and have your own private party and let your mother in law handle the party at her house, you don't even have to go. A bus is actually quite a good idea as a lot of people don't think they have had too much to drink when they may be over the limit for driving. Don't stress out too much, if she wants to have an after party then she'll do it whether you want it or not, but remember people have a choice as to whether they attend or not.

I would not let her plan anything…

tell her to back off!!! today is ur day not hers!!!

You and your fiance sit her down and explain to her what you want and expect from her and the others who will be at the wedding…… and there isn't anything that says you have to have alcohol at your wedding ~ we didn't for various reasons but mainly for religious reasons since we don't believe in drinking. I also did not want people getting drunk and spoiling the reception as some people are known to do. You can always toast each other with non-alcoholic drinks of some kind and have lots of punch, coffee and soda for others to drink.
Have your future husband tell her if she wants to have a party at her place after the reception, she is more than free to do so but nothing like this at the reception is acceptable and you hope she will respect your wishes. Remind her that the wedding is for you two and she should respect your wants and desires and not her own. Learn to put your foot down now or she will always be pushing her way into your lives and trying to run things.
Sorry she is causing you problems at a time when you should be looking forward to a beautiful and happy day without all the extra problems. Hope you can get it worked out without too many problems from her.

It is your day! always remember that. I had a ton of problems with my mother-in-law to be about my wedding. Even down to the invitations. Just put your foot down and know you make the decisions on things.I was worried what she would do the day of the wedding since I stopped all her fabulous ideas and believe it or not she behaved herself.But she had her two cents put into every aspect of our wedding and none of it was done her way.Tell her if she wants a party bus pay for it herself and then at the wedding only serve maybe 2 or 3 different drinks and only serve so many. That will make people not drink as much because they are limited.Just options but remember it is your day not hers!

First of all, your fiance should talk to her first. If that doesn't change anything than you should approach her as a united front.
I just got married and there were alot of things that happened that I didn't want because my mother-in-law thought it needed to be that way. Sometimes there's just nothing you can do to stop them.
Other than that, I hope your day is a wonderful one and Congratulations!

Personally, if she is paying for the party bus . . . . then I would let her do it. It's not worth the hassle.
Just ask her driver not to park smack in front of your wedding venue. No one sees the party bus once they are inside the venue anyway.
And she wants to continue partying after your reception in her own home? Let her do it. It is her house. It doesn't cost you anything.
Plus . . . you have peace of mind knowing that none of the drunks are driving. Besides, sounds like most of the partying will take place in her home after your reception . . . after you and groom have already left for your honeymoon.

The best way to prevent it is not to let it affect you in a bad way. You are in control of the way you think and act. Simply be happy.

If you don't want to rock the boat with her, ask your fiance to explain to her in the nicest way possible that it is yours and his wedding not hers and under no circumstances are you allowing her to have a party bus!
Say to her if she wants to invite guests back to hers after by all means but while at your reception she must abide by your rules.
If she sulks thats her problem, its not your fault she left for a honeymoon on her wedding day, there are plenty of other opportunities for her to have a party.
Or why not suggest a pre-wedding party at hers if she is so insistent on having one? That way you both win, no antics on your wedding day and she gets to have the party she wants with you there.

Argh!!!
I can understand your horror. I didn't want a drunken riot for a wedding either.
We did not put cash behind the bar for peoeple to drink as much as they wished. What we did was give some money to some of the more responsible elders and asked them to make sure that everyone was bought a drink. The responsible people got more money than those we did not trust!!! The parents also likee the excuse to talk to everyone at the wedding and be seen as very generous.
Have you managed to find a venue that has several hotels nearby? If so allow them to head to one and the rest of you can aviod it totally.
Another suggestion to stop drinking getting out of hand is to try and provide some other entertainment to distract people. This may sound strange, but we got a bucking bronco in the garden, and some friends did a fly over in some microlights they had. While people were outside they weren't noticing a bar to be wanting more alcohol.

she says no. tell her bout her self in the nicest way. n remind her that her missing out on a party after her wedding was her decisions n she has no one to blame but herself n let her no that this is ur day n with her idae ur affraid ull end up with regrets like her n itll be her fault! babe its ur day!!!!!! YOUR DAY!! and mother-in law or not all decisions are made between u n ur fiance. do ur thing babe mother in laws are there to stick their ore in dnt mean u have to listen. just let her no she can plan all the party buses she likes but dnt expect ne 1 to come cos u guys are going to…(where eva u wanna) n let her no shes invited the thought was nice n u love her. n make her understand that!!! PARTY BUS LOL get ur limo girl betta still a merc.

Try to get to know her better let come with to pick out your dress and flowers and if you don't like what she likes just say let's look some more maybe try find something you both like even though it is your day if she ruins your wedding just be thankful she is not coming on the honeymoon!